Rock Paper Scissors

Everyone gets a deck of rock-paper-scissors cards.  Play them in order.  Your gift is determined by how long you can stay in the game.

Eight gifts are decorated with Ribbons: 1st, 2dn, 3rd, …, 8th.  Person to lose round one opens the last-place (8th place) gift.  Next person to lose collects the 7th place gift.  final winner opens the 1st place (blue ribbon) gift.


Tournament of The Rock Paper Scissors

Prior to the invention of paper in 105 AD, decision making was a
brutal affair: whoever lobbed the biggest rock won everything!  (It
is good that society has advanced.)  Despite what history books might
say about the matter, paper was first and foremost invented by
weak-armed strong-minded Chinese scholars solely for the purpose of
covering up all the rocks1.
 The revolution began in ernest with the anti-rock-lobber coop of
and continues quietly but unabated to this day.
Some time later – around 1500 BC – the first pair of scissors
was invented – coincidentally – by the same acclaimed big-fisted
Egyptian who invented the time-machine.  Frustrated by the litter
strewn about in the cobbled causeway behind the back yard and at
being unable to find rocks for his arsenal, Akil Amen Aput satisfied
his life-goal by traveling back in time to deliver scissors to King
Ahmose I to use against the Hyksos who were, at the time, plotting to
invent paper.  Aput was later named chief scissor currier for the new

To-which the balance of world power has been equalized.  The gods
are appeased.  The important circular trifecta is born.  Paper covers
rock. Rock crushes scissors.  Scissors cuts paper. Let us celebrate
this achievement with a tournament!

First, everyone needs to arrange their cards in play-sequence
order from 1 to 25.  Because everyone will be playing their hands all
at the same time, there is a great likelihood of ties.  But, hey,
that's life! Round one: play your “1” card.  Round two: play your
“2” card.  Stop when you lose three rounds.
  • Rock crushes scissors – scissors looses. Two rocks smash
    	two scissors – scissors still looses.
  • Scissors cuts paper – paper looses. Three pairs of scissors
    	shred a piece of paper – paper looses.
  • Paper covers rock – rock looses.  One sheet of paper can
    	cover as many rocks as could possibly exist – rock looses.
  • If all three weapon types are played in a round or if
    	everyone plays the same weapon, this becomes a tie – everyone
    	wins!  Just keep on playing.  Here are some examples of ties
    	(r=rock, p=paper, s=scissors):
    • rpss, or rrps, or pprs, or pprprrrrrpprprs, or srp
    • rrrr, or ppp, or rr, or ssss
  • Gods are friendly.  Everyone actually has three lives.  Play
    	until you've lost three rounds.  After three losses, please bow out
    	gracefully.  To the first person with three losses: don't pout, just
    	go get your booby prize and open it.  Don't flaunt it, just go sit
    	in a corner and play by yourself.
  • One person out, on with the tournament!  One less player and
    	a little less mayhem and fewer ties (maybe!).  The second person
    	with three losses grabs the next worst prize.
  • Last person still standing at the end of the tournament –
    	with two or fewer losses – wins the coveted blue-ribbon award. 
    	With great fan-fair whooping and spitting, collect your grand prize
    	then find your own corner and play.

also wrote stuff on paper but that’s beside the point.

in a brief-lived article at

	Amen Aput. Occupations: inventor, currier. Born 3051 in Gaza.  Died
	1420 BC somewhere in the desert while running.